nature.

i am so worthless. i am nothing before your eyes, Lord. i an unworthy, undeserving, unappreciated, and naked in your eyes. all i say will never please you. all my efforts to glorify you will fall short without genuine purpose. father, i'm weak. i'm restless and broken, wholly filthy in your eyes. i am dirty in your eyes and these facades will never stand in way to have you see right through my self-righteous heart.

God has reminded me again to stop doing works for my own self. that's what christianity is about. it's not about me serving Him.. no, it's about Him serving us. what makes christianity so unique is that it's a God who humbly degrades Himself to serve us.. to wash our feet and to our clothe us.. us responding to His works should be of thankfulness, not of selfish motives and i often find myself trying to better myself, rather i should be lauding Him.

in the Church today, we want to hear the "good" stuff that lies in a hope. we want to hear how we can make a 4.0 gpa or a six-figure salary, but when we are verbally abused by the King, demonstrating that we are worthless, then grace makes sense. hope or grace doesn't make sense for the pompous and wealthy, they have all they want.

hand the old self in and surrender.